Wednesday, February 19, 2014

A Fabulous comeback

Hello,Hello. I know I have not posted in what feels to be an eternity but I was hit with, like, 10 cold viruses at once and was in no condition to be ranting. I have also been writing a work of fiction that takes up most of my free time. Also, school. Also... lazy.
 Anyways, the point is I'm Back (Yippee, hurray). So now that I have a break from school- oh wait. Un less you live in Arizona, you won't understand. You see, here in the great state of Arizona, kids are actually given a break off of school to go the the rodeo. I know. Only in Arizona. I'm not even going to start on the animal cruelty that rodeos have. SO now that I have a break off of school, I'm going to write again and be happy, and feminist-y and yay. So let's get too it kids.
I'm here today to rant about Disney movies. Particularly, Disney princesses (and women). As a little girl, I never liked the Disney princess movies. Why other girls were so obsessed with the doe-eyed, damsel-in-distress women I could never understand. I did like robin hood, though. He was one cute fox.
Mmmhm. 6 year old Panteha thought he was the hottest 'lil thing alive. 
Anyways. The princesses always frustrated me. Why would Ariel give up her voice and her beautiful fin for a dude she doesn't even know? I didn't get it. Why did it always have to be a prince who kissed the girl to wake them up? Was I the only girl who was like 
"ooohh Gurl, that ain't safe" when Belle started living with "the beast"? In real life, these stories would be horrifying. A stepmother poisons her own stepdaughter out of jealousy. Haha I don't think so. These women who were princesses, or mermaids, or chicks with bitchy step moms, embody all the things that I encourage girls NOT to do. 
1) Rely on men (Save yourself, honey)
2) Change yourself for others (AHEM Ariel)
3) Believe marriage is the answer (seriously, you just met him)
4) Believe that being the fairest of them all is where it's at (because it's not)
5) Sacrifice basic human rights for others (Again Ariel, seriously?)

Those are only a few. I do apologize to those who love Disney movies, but as a half black girl, I was wondering where the black princess was. But I'll rant about that god awful movie that they made just so they would have a movie for every minority race. I also did not like the Disney movies because of the unrealistic expectations they gave me. Seriously, no one's hair looks that amazing. Ariel? I have so many problems with you, you're firetruck -red hair right at the top of the list. All of your sisters are brunettes and blondes and then there's you. Genetics, man. Jasmin? I am half persian, and honey, No one's hair is the size of a tree trunk and down to their ankles. And their small, cute facial features left me looking in the mirror saying "is it even possible to have a nose that small?". Look, all their noses are the same. Literally. Even Mulan's. Even Pocahontas's. Girls are watching these movies over and over and over again and develop these ideas about what they should look like. Unrealistic expectation. Sorry ladies, but you'll never look like Cinderella. Their bodily proportions are just as whacked as barbie's. Also, the way they portray what romance is.... you can't be showing little girls (and boys) that true love is seeing someone once and kissing them and then getting married the next day. I'm not shooting down love at first sight, but still. And, it is impossible to live that close to royalty. You just don't encounter random, single, hot princes riding through the forest, ready to kiss and marry the first girl they see. I know that they're just cartoons, but don't you think that maybe there should be more realistic movies, or some at least where the girl isn't entirely relying on a male figure to save her from her oh so terrible predicament. So instead of having the little kids watching the disney princesses all day, what about some good 'ol Kim Possible? That girl was my hero. I mean, she was just so badass. 

AND she didn't rely on anyone. And her sidekick, Ron, was a respectful dude who totally knew how awesome she was, not some guy saying "Step aside 'lil miss, I wouldn't want you to hurt your delicate self". You know, cartoon network used to be pretty chill when it came to TV shows and movies. I will post my complete list of TV shows that don't enforce gender roles or stereotypes. Pinky promise.

I did appreciate Tangled, because I liked rapunzel's sass. Even though there was still that reliance on a male figure, I did like that she was a more dynamic character that wasn't just a cardboard cut-out programmed to find a prince and marry him. Flynn wasn't even a prince. So bravo on that one, Disney. 

You know what we need, though?
A Disney movie where the protagonist is a really girly-looking man, with a gender neutral name like "Quinn", and gender neutral pronouns are used throughout the whole movie. So the audience thinks that it's a chick the whole movie, but the prince or dude or whatever and all the other characters know it's a guy. Then the movie is great, and sweet and all that jazz. And then at the end in the wedding scene every disney movie has they're both wearing tuxes and it's like SURPRISE, he's a dude, they're gay and everyone knew and was perfectly cool with it. 

So yeah. That's all I got for now
but that was my fabulous comeback. 

Kisses and feminist vibes,
love and defying gender roles

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